27.7.05
from the case file of enjia's lifei cannot stand it when people come near me with a metal object.any metalmobject at all.especially if it's something thin. or long.i simply cannot stand it. not even a metal rod.
well,got detention on friday.4demerits.i think all from mr phua one.shrugs.what can i do since he loves demerits so much that our class is the class with the most people going for detention?well,nearly got a speech-lecture from ms low.- sighs with relief -
well,i'm still trying to get over it[nth to do with the above matters].and apparently i'm not doing well at all.duno why.just can't get over it as quickly as i used to.and i had direct confirmation from this person about what i'm wondering about[whether it's really real or just a passe].it's not exactly good on the mental state of a person when this kinda thing happens.that's partially why i'm screwed up now.
mugging to finish my e math,ss and hist hmwk later.gr8.forgot to ask huisi hist got what questn. T.T well, at least i know for e math and ss. X( unfortunately,it won't help much.since i'll still have to go for detention.common test from 11 august to 16 august.
PERFORMANCE by CGSSB
date : 20 AUGUST
venue: FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH, SENTOSA
harhh.interesting neh? : i'm back to stoning anyway.this morning stoned all the way from jurong east to redhill.part stone part talk on the way home.yeah.
turning back into a stone to numb myself.
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20:09
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25.7.05
from the case file of enjia's lifei realised 'st'h.yes i did.uh.yea.y'o'u don't know what i realised though 'p' resumably you might be realising it sub-'co'nsiously.we realise the same thing,but you 'mi'ght 'n'ot know that i'm realisin'g' 't'he same thing as y'o' u.'m'y r'e' alisa't'i'o' n 'satisfy 's m'y' f'our' i'd'eas it 'r'eally s'eams' .'it' 'really' 'breaks' 'my' hig'h' 'e'fficient st'a'nda'r'd of low 't' ension.
wells,that's one thing.thing #2.wells,emily,jiayou okae?you can do it.and dun overstress your shoulder wor. grins- think about the nco camp and ganbateh.haha.being out of point.
thing #3.i realise this.[it's different from the 1st realisation.]whenever ppl get depressed or upset or sth lidat and they come to find me,i find myself being in the same state of emotion as them.well,it might be because i'm easily swayable or could be because i'm a wierdo.but well,relly dun want this to happen atall.it's dapressing. well,that's about it.
and,i really had fun on speech day!haha section roaming and eating.haha.all share here share there,fun neh.hmmmm.and aft speech day thingy go out with grand ahma[ruth],aunt[em] and sister[liling],also very fun.Xp haha.was a ac-ian for ard 5 min ahaha.thanks to grand ahma.Xp
that's ard it.ouh.and the band shirt is settled,priscilla is slogging over the band collar pin next.yep.ahhh.found a very super old badge with the letter'cbb'on it.turns out to be a badge for the crescent brass band to stick on the sleeve that thing.and that was like how long ago?haha.well.depression is settling in.shall go and depress myself further.
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20:25
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22.7.05
from the case file of enjia's lifeno comments
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21:56
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18.7.05
from the case file of enjia's lifewhO SAyS dAT i dIDn't SAy To uSE a sOCk TO meND iT fOR aFTERWARDS? REAllY wISH aLL OF THE PEOPLE HAD LIsTENED well. THE CAPS is ON FOR A PURPOSE.FIGURE It OUT iF YOU HAVE THE GUTS TO.DARE?lOOK HERE.THIS IS ALl lIABLE RUBBiSH MADE TO kILL TIMe.you SHOULD NOT aTTEMPT lIKE NOW,To tRY AND mESS UP YoUr MIND BY SIMPLY BeING thE KINDa nUTbALL,LIKe EVERY fELLoW WHO IS TrYING TO UNDeRSTAND THIS,ARE BEING.
yes simply ignore that crap paragraph unless you have a clue as to what i'm talking about,chances of which is ----zilch.
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22:07
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17.7.05
from the case file of enjia's life\IT'S EATING INTO Me.whenever i see it.i'm half eaten alreadY,yet nothing is redeeming me.nothing.i'm Having an kinda feEling.i have no idea whAt this RevaluTion Is.aLl I can do is hope that it wears out.and soon.a tasK seEminglY unachievable.tOUgh looking.that's it.i'm near the point of break down.but i shall stall the reaching of break down for as long as i can,so that i might heal myself.
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22:15
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from the case file of enjia's lifeinformation. my next post will come in a millions years time.so if you bother,check back.if not,scram.okae.i'm being crappish.but it's called depression.yea.not.well,it's something.something i'd rather not talk about unless asked directly.which will never happen seeing that the one and only person other than me,who's involved,doesn't know that it's affecting me at all.no.that person doesn't know this problem even exists and i'm no about to spil it ou until i'm asked directly by this person or soe other person reads my mind and decides to talk.and oth situations are never ging to happen.it's never going to happen because i will it so.
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20:40
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9.7.05
from the case file of enjia's lifenth to say erxcept that i'm waiting for something and i duno what at all.
anyone with any idea of what i might possibaly be waiting for,
msg me.
i want to know.
i don't want to be confused anymore.
i'm determined to figure this out once and for all.
yet,
i know that it's not going to be as easy to figure out as it seems.
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16:40
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3.7.05
from the case file of enjia's lifeit's depressing how people have what they want and still want more of the same thing.for example,you want this certain thing[a] and certain thing[b] and you finally get thing a and you're still not satisfied and want b,which is around the same thing as A.has anyone ever thought about how b might be feeling?b might be waiting for quite some time already and when the person gets a,the person wants sth else almost the same as a and b [c].it's very sad how some people can be like that.sigh.it's been quite a while since i decided to blog.I cannot withstand this situation.as in seriously blog.not just slap in a few words.i'm learning some stuff from some expert and i'm proud to admit that i'm catching up.sometimes,it's just so sad.It's always about her.like thing's just happen and you duno why or for what and it's really depressing not to know.Always looking like it is.it's hard to decide or figure out what really is going on.Always saying you want.ladedum.this is the thinking me.ahah.read a manga[Mars] and there's this qoute that says 'it's better to be unrefined than a be master at making fun of people.'[sth lidat]wahah.it's super lihai words la.=) haha.crap but.yea.When it's already a have.it's damn cute la.some of the expressions in the manga.haha.yes it's a manga.And ending up someone else upset.haha.abit hung up on manga now adays.And still out of it.manga is damn nice.haha.simple and comprehensible.Think.It's not this simple.haha.but very confusing when miss one or two books.Xp man.i love manga.haha.all thanks to kaili.Xp It's only when you've experienced it that you understand.okiex.i'mbeing very psychological now.ehhh.is psychological the word?Xp english abit the luan now.Xp lemme think.psychiatrical? XXXXX psycho? XXXX physiological? XXXXXXXXX uhhhh.ahhh.dun wanna think liao.haha.shall go back to simple graphics and english.MANGA!haha.crap.But i guess you won't understand.
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20:56
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1.7.05
from the case file of enjia's lifeladedum.dun wanna blog abt the past anymore.haha.as ms neo says:'forget abt the past and concentrate abt the present.' haha.that's the only thing i really rmb frm her history lesson.haha.i can dun be history rep liao.[sigh of relief]haha.sry ain! Xp
ahhh.but i simply must talk about tuesday's sectionals and thursday's band. yea.change horn on tuesday.spent ard nearly2hrs servicing my horn[previously shuangying's].2nd key string break.slides un greased.and gigantic horn.haha.so i wentand grease it.and aft grease,turn it back up,try to play,trigger stuck!hurmph.cannot play with trigger fingerings,so have to play with alt fingering.call it alt cause i dun usually use that. but yea. T.T so ytd,i played all the pieces with trigger-less horn.haha.not bad for not being used to it wor.haha.but played some really wierd notes cause use wrong fingering. Xp let's recall.
C 0 0
C#/Cb 12 T23
D 1 T3
D#/Eb 2 T1
E 0 0
F 1 1
F#/Gb 2 2
G 0 0
G#/Ab 23 T23
A 12 T12
A#/Bb 1 T1
B 2 T2
C 0 T
and so on so forth.yeah!haha.mnust rmb not to play D as T12.and E as T2.and A as T3.
let's see.today's youth day might as well not be youth day. cause it's damned crappy and as per normal sch days erxcept for the hm clothes issue.yea.
ouh.ah.cut my hair a far east plaza.haha.suiying also.haha.went to the salon,saw the announcement:'$15 for students' and i read :'junior hairstylist' nearl cried[jkjk].haha.traumarized worr.the last time i was under the hands of a trainee,for layerin hair,took nearly3 hrs. T.T waste time neh.not bad this time.except she was determined to cut off my fringe.haha.stoped the hairstylist.whee.haha.suiying looks different now.yea.
i duno,but i think this person has wuite a few wierd words that make really great sense.sry for posting your link here,but yea.
www.illegaltender.blogspot.com haha.it's damn chim.but really makes sense.once again,if you happen to be the owner of this site and you come across this,don't hantam me!!!
heh.Xp okiex.i am determined to work hard.uhhh.....ehh.yea......heh...hmmms.so now i'm supposed to have english tuition with mrs noi[my sister's ex tuition teacher and my cousin who's studying to be a lawyer's ex tuition teacher and my previous p6 tuition teacher],math with ms teo[duno who the heck that is],chinese with probably mdm he[my sister's tuition teacher of 3mths who got her an A2]....etcetc. T.T wahhhh....
haha.let's see.tmr got 4 tngs going on. 1)math tuition[opp my aunt's bk shop 2)english[near my aunt'sbk shop also] 3)sjab carnival[not going.haha] 4)mr josef's wedding[not going either] haha.anyway,happy wedding mr josef and uhhh...fiancee. Xp nv give me invatation?! haha.jkjk.okae.this one is crap.
okae.ss is more interesting liao.history also.as usual,mrs gek goes :'enjia,dun sleep'even when i'm not sleeping ;_;
wheeeeee.my mom telling story about aft she gave birth to me and got depression. T.T heh.sniff.my mom's saying storyyy......very interesting...... Xp
ladedum.my horn is stuckk...
haha.
great.i'm nuts.
haha.
damn.haha....
haha.
crap.
haha.
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20:13
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