13.5.05
from the case file of enjia's lifesometimes, it just takes some courage to speak out. if you have anything to say at all, to whoever it is at all, the best thing is just to spit it out. really. even if it's going to hurt you, or the person you're telling to, it'll always be resolved. one moment's disappointment is better compared to an eternity of wondering. it's always better to know and be upset than to not know and be upset.
well, if it applies to you, try telling it out.
infered this as i realised that alot of ppl are not really talking abt stuff that they're wondering about sorta thing. yar. it's self damaging to keep it to yourself actually. therefore, talk it out. it's always better.
well, one and 1/3 movie, class photo, see ms low, obs breifing, band. that's today's itenery.
yep.
wells, one movie. sth abt these choir boys. delinquents, but nice vocals though. think is les choiretes
movie 1/3. zai4 jian4 ying2 huo3 choong2. yep. the little sister kawaii neh. not like mine. XD
we went see ms low at ard 9.45, ended up leaving at 10.50 lidat. haha. he whole time talking about changes and stuff. yep. hur. ya. b4 ms low came, haha, we were playing 'musical[no pun intended] chairs' heh. me and priscilla sabo emily sit middle, right infront of ms low. heh.
went canteen aft that to do the room mate arrangement stuff and decide on who to help us while we're gone obs-ing.
damnit. nth.
anw, we drew up a list of 6 grps of 5/6
ahah. that's it. not. band prac then ms low told us that the muslims shift in with ms low, then can fit exactly. like -.- we were so dumb not to think of that earlier.
well, obs briefing was boring but informative.
lunch. went down with e and went canteen. then e went to find is to collect the originals and the photocopies. is went town with c. and e panicked. yes. and you freaking person can you jus return the originals [especially] right aft you're done with them? what's your problem going off to town with an original and photocopies that they needed?! e called c's phone to talk to is to ask her to bring it back. e was really trying to control herself. and she did. but i didn't. i got so pissed off i grabbed the phone frm e and started screaming at is over the phone[that's the first time i scream over the phone. at any rate, it's the 1st time i screamed in a long long time.] duno why, but just cracked up and started screaming at her and demanding her to come back. the bitch[sry. figure of speech] not only complained about having to walk to the band rm to return, she laughed summor. even aft i warned her that it was not funny, she laugh summor. some of these days, it's going to cost you. really. duno what came over me at that time, i snapped and screamd : 'freaking asshole' riht over the phone, right in the canteen, right in broad daylight, right in front of stall one. that person was happily strolling into the sch and to the foyer. really wanted to punch her face out and just yell at her at that point at the foyer. really.
band :
'sorted out the cupboard and it's really neat. yep. =) please don't mess it up, ppl! hah. the right stack is for the books and extra files and scores. yar. the middle right is for blue files and the middle left for stands and the left for cloths. front left is for oils etc and the 'repair' stuff. right front is for papers, pens, and what ever's there. don't mess it up please. thank you.
'ms low came in and talked for a half an hour on he japan trip thing.
'mrs chua came in and took us joyous spring. i figured out the rhythm on the spot right before playing and when mrs chua took, i couldn't play at all. like wtf. it's never happened before and esp not right aft i just got the rhythm. she 'shooed' us out to get our parts 'right'. went with bass clarinet. well, we plaed tgt and i sarked. really sarked. somehow i just kept playing the same wrong rhythm over and over agn. only got it right aft some time and it was simple rhythm. really feel like a failure then. really pissed off. can thikn the rhythm, cannot play. sarks. really sarks.
'couldn't play my counter melody during practise. and it's simple melody. really sarks. play like ten million billion times then got it right, only to get it wrong agn aft a while.
'went back to band rm. combine, mr chua take. cause mrs chua taking[?] janice outside. yar. went quite fast, but yar. the front rhythm can catch up liao. but come to the counter part, i really sarked. i got confused and ended up like 5 bars behind time. like what the heck is this?! 5 bars behind time and i couldn'tfigure out where the rest were or where i'm supposed to come in. just blanked out for sometime. sickening. other than the counter part, the reswt of the pc was ok, except for articulation problems[my tongue's slow. must really train up agn]. and tone problem. mjy horn does not sound like a horn. it sounds like nothing at all la. sickening.
was really frightened by how much i deproved. still am.
end of band prac, was a danger. got whacked by emily in the face. hurts. haha. must learn not to sit behind the beside her. yep.
went to stone bench to arrange new rm mate thing. yep results are out! erbx.
not. i'm not letting it out until they say we should say. haha. you won't know who the they are, so dun go pester everyone. Xp
ahah. nice neh. cracked our brains to figure where to dump the remaining few pl into the grps with less ppl cause the sec 4s insisted on having one rm. well, suit yourself. but just to let you know, we had a headache.
had a ride to bukit panjang with emily. [thanks anw!]
just talked to my sister not long ago agn aft a long long time and well, she was telling me abt her experiences in band and she went bonkers when was told i was cm. well, she practically screamed over the phone. yep. and she was imagining the whole house of 'cm's. hah. let's see.
its been a fake side of me you've all been seeing. i'm not what ou think i am and i am not as tough as you think i am. i'm not trying to contradict you, just to let you know that i am not all that tough.for freaking ppl who are in the situation i mentioned abv[with the freaking asshole thing], please take note to change your attitude. thank you.for ppl who are confused, welcome to the club. speaking is the main thing. but find one who'll listen to your problems and be emphatic. and who will understand and not contradict you like the below.and peeps of these ppl, listen is the key. don't always contradict them. it makes it difficult for them to talk to you. really difficult. i've experienced it myself. just a few hrs ago. you know who i'm talking about
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20:57
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